We saw it coming didn’t we? The law never sleeps, though it hibernates in Naija, but it’s always there, staring and searching keenly for the bad guys. Tonto Dikeh, unfortunately is now termed an outlaw. Or to be more explicit, a criminal. She’s on this list, not because she stole, killed, blasphemed, coveted her neighbour’s dog, or kept correspondence with Boko Haram. Not that. She’s simply an outlaw by extrimism. Banned substance extrimism.

We all love Tonto Dikeh. Her wild ways, erratic display petulance, bold defiance,eccentric persona, and (oh I hate to use the cliché) controversial lifestyle. She’s a free spirit, one with a wild expressive streak that borders on the insane, always chasing after life, never relenting, unflinchingly engaging the foundational laws of existence. If life were one angry fire-spitting bull with a taste for blood, and it cornered our darling Tonto for a one-one-one showdown, I’ll put top dollar on a bet that Tonto will grab the bull by its balls and make the beast squeal for mercy. She’s that explosive.

Well this time she’s in an explosion, an explosion she set off herself by her love for a very ‘special’ and interesting recreational drug – weed. On Friday 28 June 2013, Tonto Dikeh had special recognition from Cokobar, London. They were to host her birthday party amid planned festivities and razzmatazz. Before taking the flightbird out of Africa, Tonto dropped the picture below.

“Mi smoke gaja, mi smoke weed while my haters smoke gossip”

Many fans raised concerns, ranging from the abusive, to the advisory, running through the entire spectrum of human emotions. Any assumptions we had that that was just a publicity stunt was wiped clean when she took to Iyanya’s Kukere Concert that weekend, mouthing gibberish and acting stoned. She eventually tripped on stage, came crashing down, and spilled her left right boob. Nice melons! Also she unleashed a ‘stoned’ picture which went viral.

But with the virality came the law. NDLEA is knocking on her door, and they’ve vowed to take up her case. Speaking with Punch newspaper on the matter, spokesman of the anti-drug agency, Mitchell Ofoyejudisclosed that the matter had been referred to the appropriate department to investigate it.

NDLEA said, “our attention has been drawn to the post, quite frankly and I can tell you that action will be taken on it. The law is clear on the issue. No one is permitted to sell, use, cultivate or encourage the use of Indian hemp in Nigeria. The weed is one of the banned narcotics in the country.”

Now Tonto has panicked. She doesn’t want jail time. And lest I forget, a conviction for possession in Nigeria earns you a 5-year holiday in prison. Preferably Kirikiri.

Fear may have gripped controversial actress, Tonto Charity Dikeh after the NDLEA reportedly threatened to investigate her posts online on Thursday and possibly throw her in jail for at least 5 years for allegedly encouraging or using the banned narcotic. Apparently worried by the reactions the post and the NDLEA reported investigation created, the actress denied the post and claimed that a fan wrote the post and not her.

Tonto said, “A fan wrote the words with herbs on my birthday, and i replied: ‘thank you teampoko’. Now, how does someone else’s action become my crime?

“If I said those words (‘Mi smoke gaja mi smoke wee while my haters smoke ma gossip’), I will stand by them but I didn’t. Just because it is convenient for people to believe the lies still doesn’t make it the truth.

“The whole thing is falsified by people who just love to have fun at other’s expense. Let’s put some thought to some of the things we write. Don’t just cut and paste. If you cannot find me holding a wrap of marijuana, then you may want to slow down on your assumptions.”

She also appeared to repent, saying, “all the best. Do some good things this month (July) and Say No To Grugs and of course, Weed (marijuana).”

She ain’t that tough afterall. The ‘Rihanna’ of Nigeria can’t take the heat of a promised visit to jail. She’s scared, and with that fear, we’ve seen the real her. All puff, no stuff. All talk, no steel. So what’s next for Aunty Dikeh? Jail beckons, but can she be given the option of rehabilitation? We sure ain’t NDLEA, and one stark possibility remains; Tonto Dikeh is off to jail!